Brides always worry about buying a gown and then finding something better.  I am by no means an expert on this but here is how I went about it.

1.  I read websites to understand the terminology (mermaid, ball gown, ect), and to know which styles typically flattered my body shape.

2.  I went to David’s Bridal first because it was close, easy and non-committal.  At the time (in the NY/ NJ area) they restricted brides to 3 dresses per visit.  On arriving, I was recommended these horrible very poufy dresses, not at all my style, but what is typically carried in the size 18 or 20 that I was.  I was a 14 in street clothing so the size was a bit of a shock, and the lack of choice also was a surprise.

3.  I went home, stopped eating (not really but ate healthy) and worked out like crazy, for two weeks.  I went back to the same store and had more selection in size 16 samples at least.

4.  I am a solo shopper, when I’m serious about shopping.  Having looked at more magazines and having a little experience, I made an appointment at a small boutique near New Paltz, where I lived.  I found a few dresses that were beautiful but not quite me.  It was also difficult because in a small bridal shop, I was limited to squeezing into size 8 and 10 samples.

5.  Gym membership acquired some time around now.  Stopped taking long leisurely lunches from my corporate IT job at Zumbobel Staff, and instead took long lunches across the street at All-Sport.  Every day. Everyone I worked with knew and respected that this is what I did.  If I had a meeting during lunch, then I took an afternoon break at 3pm for the gym. (Note:  I worked lots of hours including 3am often so I realize not everyone can pull this off.)

6.  Made plans to go to New Jersey (where all serious shoppers go) with my mom.  We started the day at David’s Bridal once again because one dress had caught my eye.  Putting it back on though, it just did not do it.  Then we went to Macys Bridal.  When I told the sales consultant my budget, she was really good about steering me to the right selection, and I still had a ton of choice.

7.  I did it… what every bride says they won’t.  I tried on a dress double what I wanted to spend, and I fell in love.  It was slightly form fitting, simple but with detail.  I squeezed into the size 8 sample but had a hard time seeing how it would fall, so I asked a size 8 bride that was nearby to try it on for me, which sounds traumatic to some I guess, but it in no way was.

8.  We went to lunch.  I always have to walk away before buying, sometimes even over a pair of shoes.  My rule is that if I’m still thinking about it a bit after leaving, then I go back and get it.  So I did.

9.  I excitedly ordered the dress, and never looked at another.  (Well, until I became a wedding photographer that is.)

So, where does this leave you?  Know your style.  Be confident in yourself.  Keep the style of your wedding in mind.  Enlist the help of one or two close family members or friends.  Choose the right bridal salon.  As I often say, just go with what feels right.

Below is a dress featured at the wedding show at the Fairfax Hilton Garden Inn a few weeks ago.

Last week I was watching it with my mom, and saw the commercial for the premier of Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss, catering to plus sized brides.  I have been told horror stories about buying a dress by some of my plus sized brides, so I am really excited to see a wedding show targeting this.   Here is a great interview with Randy Fenoli about the new show.

When I got married I was a size 12.  Actually the first time I went shopping I was a size 14, and was put into size 20 dresses!  A week later, I was a size 12.  Still being a 12 (size 14 is the median dress size in the US) meant I had to wear a plus size gown.  As most brides know, wedding dresses run about two sizes smaller than every day clothing.

I did not really care what size my wedding dress label read, it just creates an often frustrating experience.  I was 3-4 sizes larger than most sample dresses, which makes trying on quite interesting!  I was able to get into most at least and just not have them fully closed in the back.  I can not imagine for someone that is not even able to step in.  Putting the emotional aspect aside, it’s just makes the decision difficult not to be able to see yourself in a dress.

There is also a tendency for inexperienced bridal consultants, especially at some of the chain stores, to put all brides of a certain size and up in a certain style.  The smaller and higher end shops seemed to be better at truly working with me as an individual.

In the end, I fell in love with a semi-form fitting dress.  After trying it on myself, I saw a very thin bride across the room that seemed friendly.  I approached her and asked her to try on my dress.  She was very willing, and it was really helpful to see the dress as it should fit.

After a busy summer of weddings, many with amazing dresses, I was thinking about my dress.  I took out my wedding photos, wondering if I still adored it.  Yes, it is still my favorite and six years later would choose it all over again!

Back to the wedding dress… hubby jokes and says it is frozen in carbonite. In reality it is in a closet at his parent’s house in Tennessee. After our wedding, I took the dress to the cleaners, and was told I should preserve it. I was a bit surprised at the price but figured why not. When I went to pick it up I was handed a box at least 4 feet long, 2 feet wide and a foot deep. The dress will last for over 200 years if not exposed to air.

I didn’t really give much thought to what to do with my wedding dress. I am certainly not enjoying it 3000 miles away. I kind of wanted to peak at it when we were visiting, but I felt like I should not, so I didn’t. I forgot to mention it can’t be stored near an outer wall of the house, in a basement, or an attic! All these restrictions are what landed it at my in-laws.  I am a pretty down to earth person, and I am not sure this would have been what I would have done after our wedding if I had realized there are other options.

What can you do with your wedding dress after the wedding?

Donate it. Local charity thrift stores will often take bridal gowns, as well as other organizations. Below are a few ideas.

Brides Against Breast Cancer (headquartered in Oregon)
Priceless Gown Project
Bridal Garden
Glass Slipper Project
Goodwill

Consign it. Some shops take wedding gowns for profit, and will give you a percentage of the sale price.  Some online shops, such as Used Wedding Dresses, also buy them.

Book a Trash-the-Dress Photography Session. Ask your wedding photographer to include a trash the dress session as part your photography package. The idea behind this is to do something fun, and maybe dirty in it and have great photos taken. On your wedding day, you probably will be cautious about getting it ripped or muddy. For a day after photo session, you can go for a hike, go to the beach, hang out in the coffee shop you met… or anything you can think of.

Reuse it.  Go to a tailor and have it made into a short summer dress, or just use the fabric for anything at all. Below are some creative ideas, courtesy an article in The Eagle Tribune.

• Frame a little piece of satin and lace from your wedding dress and hang it as a wall decoration.
• Make a christening gown for your future children or grandchildren.
• Make a baby blanket or bassinet liner for your future babies.
• Make a decorative pillow for your new bed as a married couple.

Preserve it. You can find tips at  Wedding Gown Specialists, and locate a place to have your dress preserved.  For romantics, preserving your gown is probably still the right choice. There is a tiny part of me that is glad mine will be there for years to come, just in case my daughter wants to where it one day.